[Series] Looking- Chapter 2 "Take a look at yourself"

“You don’t know who the fuck you are, you’re not who you think you are”

At the beginning, I thought Agustin is the happiest guy among the three friends. With the plot going, I found him is the most pathetic one. He is a poor and immature man with self-delusion issue.(Take the pills before taking tube since u are in bad mood? Are u teenage? )

Sex frees part of us
If u are fan of the director Andrew Haigh, U will find out that he likes talking about sex on the screen through the art way instead of having his actor make love barely. (Be honest to myself, ya I love to see hot actor being naked.) That is to say, he likes expressing and discussing what is sex in the subtle way, not just let his audience know sex is nothing more than fucking. Sex is more than sensation, it is the subject of intimacy, self-exposure and so on, this is the reason he wants to broach out the meaning behind the sex.

There is a secret link connects “Weekend” and “Looking” (not as secret as some hidden superhero like spiderman). I named this link as “Art sex”. In “Weekend”, the artist, Glen, talked about why he wants do the project of taping talking about the sex experience of the stranger guy whom he had sex with at first time. In his opinion, or Andrew’s opinion, you project who you want to be in sex. However, there is a gap opened up between who u want to be and who u really are.

Back to Agustin, he paid for CJ, the sex worker, to do his art project after getting fired(A very costy sex worker, 220 USD/hr, r u out of ur mind?). “People just want me do the thing that they’re too shit-scared to ask for in their normal life. I know part of them.” CJ told Agustin about what is his job.

Can u find out the Art Sex link connect them? Sex is part of us. We can be who we want to be in sex or in secret. To wit, we can escape from who we really are through having sex, or sex frees the corner part of us. Remember, sex is only part of us, not entire us. So we have to find the balance between who we want to be and who we really are. Or we will become Joe in “Nymphomaniac” eventually.

Who are u?
“I can’t call myself an artist cause I don’t do shit.” Agustin said to Patrick after he got fired.

Do we have to do something to prove who we are?
Or, Do we have to use something to prove something to others or to ourselves?

If u dunno who u really are, how can u find or do something to show others who u are. Everything u do or try to do is worthless before finding out who u are. Cause, like Agustin’s boyfriend told to him “u don’t know who the fuck you are, you aren’t who you think you are” (Maybe Agustin will be a big artist in season2, who knows!)

Agustin wants to have free spirit as CJ does, doesn’t feel the need to judge his job or explain it. Poor Agustin, U are in a fog, in a self-delusion. The matter is that u don’t know urself clearly, not that nobody understands u or everybody stops u finding who u really are. It’s all about u. And CJ knows himself clearly, he isn’t good at math or drawing, yet his is good on sex and it makes him a expensive sex worker.(220 USD! I can buy used XBOX or PS3.)

We always say that we can’t be in our own skin as family, friend, school and society put a lot of pressure on us and confine us to chase being who we really are.  This is the excuse that we take to deny acknowledging we don’t know ourselves. Again, it’s all about u.

If u find who u are though, do u have to do something to prove it? No, just be in ur own skin and people will find it out. The thing about how to prove who u r is the privilege belongs to the person such Agustin.

So, who are you ?